Monday, August 28, 2006

slight adjustment

Hey peeps,

Good weekend? Hope so. Mine was spent bonding with my boy and he's a twat! Got my Man U throwback too but it still needs a little touch.

Have you checked out the AlphaBlog? I forgot some more appropriate words in my haste. For "F", Freestyle Clown would have been a good runner up, "Thinker" for "T" and main "W" should have been "Whore!" Yes, I am a whore! Nigerian definition: Woman Wrapper! I am always around Les filles. I go on girls' nights outs and don't feel out of place. I like woman, no be small!

Anyways, that's all for now. Quite busy at work (Honest) so may not blog for a bit (for which I'm sure you're all grateful) so take it easy peoples.

BM out like Nigeria from the FIBA World Championships!

Friday, August 25, 2006

tag update

Sup family?

I've been updating like crazy, right? I apologize but I'm just kinda enjoying this. Tagging is a part of blogging I really like (though I've only done it once), that is when the topic is interesting and I would like to think I have raised one.

So when you have the time, head on down to The Alpha Tag: Who The Hell Are You? and leave your comments and feel free to tag too.

Enjoy people.

BM out! And that's it!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

blog update

Sup family?

I found an interesting blog I just had to share with everybody. The dude is on another level but makes some sense.

So just head on down to and hear brother man (though he's white) out.

BM out like electricity in Nigeria.

PS - If you haven't visited Mona's blog, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

Peace family.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

fasten your safety belts

I can’t believe I forgot about this. I’ve had this for a moment and was going to blog on it but it skipped my mind. It happened on my return flight to Nigeria after my vacation. You know how you always pray not to get an old person or an irritant sitting next to you on the plane, well, I got BOTH! The 1st was a plus sized lady who first dumped her cardigan unto the row of seats behind ours, why? Because she was trying to reserve them for herself. Imagine? She then chose to move to the rear of the plane because she saw some empty seats (we were just boarding, mind you) and thankfully, nobody turned up to claim the seats. So then, I was left to deal with the old man. Our meeting started with me having to stow his hand luggage (a heavy, crammed carrier bag) into the overhead locker and then the potty break (I always go for aisle seats) 5 minutes after he had sat down… before take off! I resigned myself to the fact that it was going to be a long flight. Interestingly enough, it was an educational flight and not so bad after all. It was his first time to London and so he had a lot to talk about. He had gone for an operation and spent some time in the hospital. The following details our conversation. Hope it touches you like it did me. Forget Osuofia and meet…

Ogbeni in London

“What is the name of this plane?” he asks. “I don’t know,” I reply, not really sure what his question really means, plus trying to end the conversation quickly.
“The plane dey run,” he continues. “E dey really run. The pilot dey try. Na Libya I go before but the plane no run like this one. This one dey move. The pilot dey really try.

“you know, this na my first time to London. I no wan believe wetin I see for there. When I reach house tell people, dem no go believe me o! unless dem see am themselves. Everything dey organized, everything na computer. Na bush we dey for Africa o! but, no be Britain colonize us? So why our own no fit good like their own? We go ever reach dat level? My brother, na only to pray o! I no think we go fit reach that level. Abi, how you feel?”

“well, I believe we will get there, just that unfortunately, neither of us might be around to witness it," comes my response. He shakes his head and resumes his diatribe, “The problem be say, we no get any unity for Nigeria. Whether tribal o, religious o, and even political. E no good at all at all. Make we get ourself quick quick o! make our children no too suffer.

“even dog sef, my brother… DOG! Dog get more rights than person sef. See wan sick dog for there, na helicopter dem use carry am. Helicopter for dog! Me as I dey, I never enter helicopter before dem come carry sick dog. Nawa o! even cat sef get house. Ologbo! Cat get house where people still dey sleep for road. Nawa o! I just dey look dey look as I dey for there.

“na operation I go there go do. Na my son bring me come, ma’e I just do am. See their hospital system for there. Everything dey organized. If na one o’clock, na one o’clock. Doctor sef go come meet you for the time make sure say you dey. You see that kind before? Wey doctor go come find you? For Nigeria, doctor go say, ‘You this bastard! Ma’e I come call you? You no well true true.’ As I dey there because of the operation, 3 days, I no baff. Na the nurse come baff me! Can you imagine? Say nurse go come baff you? They love life for that side o! they no dey take life play at all! I no one leave at all. I wan die there. Enjoyment too much but it was too expensive. My son try well well the small wey e do for me but e too expensive. I dey fear dem o! another patient wey dey there dey ask whether I wan die there. I tell am say na the enjoy wey I no dey enjoy for Africa I dey enjoy for here.”

At this point, I am with him all the way because this manner of raw authenticity with regards to his bewilderment is as rare as constant electrical supply in Nigeria. The cabin crew is now walking through offering light refreshments. I get my own surprise as I never knew they served little bottles of alcohol on board. I thought it was just red and white wine. So, I ask for a Jack Daniels and coke. My new in-flight companion asks for a Jack as well after sighting my order and the ‘extremely friendly’ (my ignorant outlook where I automatically convince myself such guys are gay) airhost remarks on how that’s an excellent choice. I mix my Jack & Coke (I’m not an alcoholic o) but old head taps the bottle, spins the cap and downs that sucker! I clearly don’t know a dang thing about some whiskey after that. With his tongue now looser, we resume our (more like his) discourse.

“I buy one DVD wan time carry am go house. E no come work and my son dey ask me why I go buy such DVD sef. ‘in come say make I take am back. I surprise say ‘in talk like that but I come go back sha. Before GOD and man, the boy collect am, return my money. I no lie you at all. You ever see that kind thing for Africa before? Where them collect something return your money? Who born you? Them go ask whether you no see well before you buy am. Nawa o! the thing really surprise me. then them no dey collect money. Everything na credit. For hospital, them no ask me for one kobo. Them say na after them go send bill to my son. Them no dey collect money at all.

“and come see one oyibo woman dey drive trailer by inself! She just naked herself, put leg for steering and just dey drive the big trailer dey go. Na only am dey inside o! big trailer. And na so dem dey do. One person go just drive by ‘inself for any time , just dey go. If motor breakdown, no wahala. Them go just phone, relax by the road and they go come tow am. No wahala.”

The ‘happy’ airhost returns and asks if my man enjoyed his beverage. I said he must have because he just guzzled it in one swig. “wow!” he exclaimed, “Well you’re responsible for whatever happens to him young man, alright?” I just smiled and tried to enjoy a pause from my session with my elderly buddy. It was short-lived though.

“ah! This plane dey really run. Pilot dey try. We done nearly reach, ba? He dey try. If somebody, wan person, get plane like this wan, only wan sef, ‘in go chop be dat o! ‘in go chop well well. Wan single plane we no even get sef. Common plane we no get. It’s a shame o but GOD dey sha. For London, every city get airport. Every city! And plane just dey everywhere parked like taxi. Them plenty no be small. GOD dey sha.”

And with that, my good man shut his eyes and drifted off into La La Land. The whole exchange really got the wheels turning. It is funny how much we take for granted on a daily basis because we are comfortable. Yes we nag and complain on the regular but have you noticed how the topics of our complaints always vary depending on our physical location? While I was in the States and England, I was relatively calm but as I got back, I just started acting up and getting upset over nothing. It boils down to the little things that don’t work. We are regarded as third world/developing but really, we shoot ourselves in the foot and things REALLY should not be this bad. In the ‘developed’ world, they are trying to curb black on black crime but as the black capital of the world (over 150 million niggers [not necessarily who we are but how majority act] locked together in one spot) it is the only crime we have. Ever hear Mos Def’s song, “The Rape Over”? It is far from over. When we were getting screwed by “whitey” I guess it wasn’t our fault but when my fellow black man wants to continuously pull my pants down and give me a thorough rogering, I have to blow my gasket at some point.

Here was this old man who got the opportunity to witness a working system before his number was called and you can gather the effect it had on his life. Tears came to my eyes but I didn’t cry. Cry for what reason? It does sadden me but not as much as it angers me. And I am mad at self too because I don’t exactly rise up to do jack! Why? Because I act like I don’t know how to or know what to do. That is bollocks. Yes I am just one person but that’s how it starts. In that regard, mad props to Dumebi Agbakogba and her Do Something Nigeria movement. She’s a young girl and while she’s still having her fun, she still takes time out to do her widow’s might. I have been a reluctant entertainer all my life. If that is how I can contribute, so be it. As long as I do something. I would like to implore you to do something as well. No matter what it is. I don’t expect you to finish this blog then turn Mother Teresa, but rather hope you really think about it and contribute to the Nigerian turn around however you can. You know how people go to Ibiza and Cancun, etc to chill and tan? We have sunshine all the year round. Jay-Z, Mariah and the like need to start putting Lagos as one of their favorite vacation spots alongside St. Tropez.

And just like clockwork, as if to take me away from my overly serious self and back to the more relaxed clown all are used to, this Igbo dude that had been talking to this elderly lady to my left all flight long goes:

“Oh, das a beaurooful landing.”

BM out like cheap hair weaves.

review alert

Hey people,

Good today? Working on more stuff, worry not. I have added a pic to an old blog which I found and think is appropriate. It's an old pic scanned so unfortunately is not all clear but it features a young (cute) Don Chi. Feel free to have a looksie when you have the time.

Later peoples.

Go to From the Cradle to the Stage for the flick.

Blog Marley out like Elton John from the closet.

Monday, August 21, 2006

update alert

Today in C3: Chichi's Classic Cock-Ups, read how Don(ce) Chichi trapped himself in his brother's flat in London this past July. What is wrong with this kid?

Enjoy... or not!

i apologize

Las Gidi, Nigeria
Monday, August 21st, 2006
Dear Bloggers,
How are you doing today? I hope all is well? Before I go off on a rant like I have been known to do, I will get straight to the point. Accept this, please, as a formal apology for my bad behvior. I allowed myself get sucked into the "do you know who I am" method of thinking. You know how they say, "sometimes, less is more"? Well, that whole thing seemed to be lost on me.
First, it was hi5. I thought it was stupid but then turned into the "unofficial" king of the damn thing. Now with blogging, I only registered to leave a comment on Mo's blog a while back and thought I'd never get involved deeply, then I turned around and created 10 (yes T-E-N) blogs!
10 blogs for what? What the hell could you possibly have to talk about? Well, I do have quite a bit (like a lot of other people) and could easily detail it in one blog but you know how I do. However, after a good convo with my new buddy via the blog world (go Dammie), I have decided to repent. She pointed out that I have lazy fans who cannot keep up with my lunacy. One blog will be fine, she convinced. Then my darling partner in blog, the lovely Mona, made sure she made me feel stupid about the whole thing. She had warned me from jump when I announced I was going to attempt such retardation. I apologize to you dearest milklady for not listening to you.
The thing is, I like order in my activities, so decided to topically arrange my blogs. Bad idea, apparently, as patronage of my spot has dipped. Boo hoo hoo! So now, having come to my senses, I have decided to act accordingly and do away with my blog overload. Yup. Imagine having to give up one of your kids but it's fine. It needs to be done, so it shall.
A quick run through the blogs before they die. This one of course, the Choo Choo Train of Thought, Theater of the Absurd, The Others, Coming Right Outta Left Field, From the Cradle to the Stage, Circle of Life, The Answer Game, E!ntertainment Briefly and C3: Chichi's Classic Cock-Ups. So those are his 10 blogs. To avoid the hassle of deleting and re-posting, I am leaving them where they are, so you can just grab you a little peak if you want to but future posts will be done in here. Sob. I recommend Coming Right Outta Left Field and The Others. I believe they have some interesting reading in there. So check them out before they are forgotten forever.
Now, the catch. As a silly dude, YOU KNOW I AIN'T GONNA GET RID OF EM ALL! Never that. So I am keeping this one (the original) and it will be the main point of reference. When other blogs have been updated, I will place an alert in here and a link, so all you have to do is click.
The other surviving blogs are:
The Others (people have said they'd like to blog via me, so this will house such offerings)
From the Cradle to the Stage (the ludicrious story of my life)
C3 (putting myself on blast, making me look silly)
So that's it. Just 4 blogs. Not bad, eh? Actually, a 5th one is in the making though but it is a collaborative blog that is milky like cereal. It was bound to happen, so enjoy once it is born.
Well bloggers, I hope I am forgiven? I've been naughty. I was feeling cool but ended up looking a fool. I'm sorry for my over-indulgence. Take me back? Am I forgiven? Hope you can accept me again as one of yours.
Your's Sincerely,
Young Blog Marley (It's going' down!)
PS - The Choo Choo Train of Thought received two updates last week that I believe you should check out. It is, after all, the end of the track for that poor blog of mine. Sniff sniff.
Stay positive family.
Don Chi out like Nigeria of the Junior Women's World Cup!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

return of the mc ranter

Hey people, how have you been? Sorry I’ve been away so long (like anyone’s really noticed) but I was on long overdue vacay from work (can anybody say six weeks? Shhh) and sitting in front of a PC/laptop was not exactly my idea of rejuvenation, if you smell me? Regardless, that does not give me the right to leave you hanging (does anybody really care???) so here I am, back with more ranting. YAY! However, all the comments seem to be coming in here, so please feel free to browse through any of my other blogs, (links in sidebar) and let me know what you think about those as well. Anyhoo, without much further ado (yawn), here’s me latest rant and guess what? It’s Chichi back at the movies yo!!! Enjoy… or not.

With so much drama in the AMC…

After going off on how I got pissed off at the cinema, watching X3 in lagos, I went to the AMC in New York to watch Superman Returns and also got the pleasure of a double bill in there. By the way, Superman II is my fave movie of all time, so the nostalgia the new movie provided was something else. Read on that in a blog coming soon. Back to the double bill.

So, I’m enjoying the movie right, the couple behind me have been going off for a while but nothing I couldn’t handle. I was too into my movie. However, down my row (it was rather empty, maybe 20 people in all) to the left, I was totally oblivious to what had been going on but I and the entire theater were about to find out. With about 15 minutes to go in the movie, this white dude screams out all of a sudden in a very irritated tone: “Oh, for kcuf’s sake, we’re trying to watch the kcufing movie here!”, apparently to a guy sat right in front of him. Then the following conversation ensued:

Light Skin-ded Brother: What’chu say fool?
Slim Shady: Been trying to watch the movie but you been going on the whole freaking time. It’s people trying to watch the movie.
LSB: How ‘bout you shut up an’ watch the movie, a’ight?
SS: Yeah, but you been going on the whole time messing it up, I can’t barely hear.
LSB: I think you better shut up. What? You a tough guy?
SS: Yeah, whatever.
LSB: You try’na play Superman? I beat’chu down in front of yo girl, a’ight?
SS: Yeah, yeah. Whatever.
LSB: What n!$$@?

At this point, LSB starts fumbling with his jacket and Chichi’s like “whoa boy! Looks like it’s about to get on and poppin’ in here.” LSB brings out his phone, gets up and makes a phonecall:

“Hello? Yeah. I got me a little beef at the theater. Yeah, the AMC on 42nd Street. Uh huh. Ok. I’m coming downstairs now.”

He then walks out and the atmosphere in the theater changes somewhat. A dude up front puts on his hat and bounces like Spalding. Either he’s very smart or just a spineless coward. I, on the otherhand, can’t wait for the movie to end. Not because it’s boring (it’s not); not because I’m scared (shut up) and want to get out of there but because there is too much of new york to be seen (human & structural) and spending time in the theater is desperately eating into that time. Not buying my story are you? Whatever! I wasn’t scared! Really, what does he want to do in a theater in the middle of the city, in the middle of the afternoon? Well, in honest response to that, I really didn’t want to be around to find out. BUT I WASN’T SCARED!

Anyway, a while passes and LSB returns. alone. I was a bit disappointed to be honest. I mean, where was the crew of NY Gangsta Gangstas? He then walks up to SS and bends over him and starts talking down at him in a muffled tone, so I couldn’t really make out what it was. At this point, I concluded that whoever LSB called (if he did indeed call anyone) must have laughed at him for calling up some beef with a skinny white kid, probably a Sci-Fi geek, trying to enjoy his Superman movie. Get the kcuf outta here!

So that was my first incident with the return of Krypton’s last son. (Oh my GOD! Superman is phenomenal! MSN Spellchecker accepted krypton as a word). The 2nd comes from my return to Mama Africa. Nu Metro has open a cinema out in Abuja, so I had to go check it out. Returned, with my bro and two friends in tow, to see (uh huh, you guessed it) Superman Returns! So what actually went wrong this time? Let me see… Hmmm… could it be: Babies crying at the movies after 2200hrs? People walking in and out continuously having screaming matches in the process? Or maybe it was my personal favorite: the light skin-ded family behind me! I see a trend here with the light skin-ded. They are bad for the movies apparently. Remember the chick from the last one with no badonk? Uh huh! Light skin-ded she was! Anyways, there was a boy and three or four girls. My guess is, he wanted to come watch the movie and his sisters/cousins decided to tag along because he was well behaved but these ladies? Oh my sweet Lordie. They decided on exhibiting their ringtones to each other. One would get a phone call and let it ring for a while so all could hear it and they all erupt in laughter. This is of course before she picks up and proceeds to blab away like she’s at a telecommunications convention. And this happened no less than thrice with one instance being a running argument.

Such bad behavior. We need to do something about Nigerian cinema for real. Talking goes on everywhere but our complete disregard for others and the inability to be discreet need to be checked ASAP. Buy the bootleg DVD, watch it at home and invite a marching band for all I care but when you are at the movies: Beehotch, shut the kcuf up! That’s all I ask of you. Is that too much, honey?

And to make matters worst (Naija style), to quote Sir Mix-A-Lot and some other rapper I can’t remember right now (was it Q-Tip?): “Baby got back!” so “why you gonna go and do that love, huh?”

With that dear bloggers, just like the Man of Steel, SuperBloggerMan (alias Don Chi a.k.a. Blog Marley) Returns!

Up, up and away!